The Adventures of Destructo-Dog

We interrupt these travel tales to bring the story of one dog’s efforts to destroy house and home.

Penny, being overzealous about most things in life, is an extreme-tail-wagger. This leads to pain in our legs as she slaps us with her muscular tail, and lately has been leading to red “splatter-paint” on our walls, couches, and legs. She’ll wag her tail into something that makes it bleed (i.e. a wall, table leg), and then she will continue wagging her tail, slapping blood all around the house. Which leads to a lot of extra scrubbing and cleaning for us.

So, I contacted the people we rescued her from to see if this was a common problem. They said they had seen it before and recommended wrapping her tail in a bandage…easier said than done.

Attempt #1 went like this: I woke up this morning, Jason was at work, it’s my day off. Penny was glad to see me and celebrated by splatter-painting the kitchen wall (sidenote: this dog feels no pain). So I decided that the moment was now. I grabbed the first aid kit and went about trying to wrangle her.

We went in circles on the back steps: her spinning and wagging her tail. Me laughing and trying to get her to stand still. Me getting a hold of her tail, her chewing on my hands. Finally she got ahold of the bandage in her mouth and tore off into the backyard in top-speed, triumphant circles.

For a grand finale, she leapt as high as she could and landed right in the middle of our biggest, most beautiful, tomato plant…which is now destroyed.

Here she is post-destruction, looking into the kitchen sheepishly from outside. Stinkin’ dog.

Needless to say, I will not be attempting to bandage her tail on my own anymore. This is at least a two person job.


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